What We Love and What We Need

Nourishing the Body

I love sweets. Almost any kind of sweets. Donuts. Pie. Cake. Even bread smeared with jam will suffice in a pinch. I've been known to eat honey from a spoon straight out of the jar. I seem to be genetically programed to crave a little sugar several times a day.

Indulging my sweet tooth gives me pleasure and, if done in moderation, can be a harmless indulgence.

My body, however, will not thrive on sugar alone. For my body to thrive, I need balanced nutrition. That means vegetables and healthy protein. And don't get me wrong, I'm capable of taking pleasure in healthy food. My affinity for sweets doesn't preclude my enjoyment of a nutritious meal. But sometimes...oh, sometimes...sometimes those green peas leave a taste in my mouth that no amount of water will wash away. Sometimes that broccoli smells a little too much like old garbage. Sometimes a raw apple doesn't feel nearly as good in my stomach as it would if I cut it up and cooked it in a pie.

But I still have to eat the healthy stuff. Okay, I don't have to. I'm an adult. I have free will. I can choose to have Reece's Pieces for every meal if I want to. But I don't because I know my body needs that other stuff in order to work properly.

Nourishing the Soul

I am an introvert. I crave alone time just as much as I crave peach cobbler. I'm never happier than when I'm all by myself watching a sunset or immersed in a good book or soaking in fragrant bath water.

But I need more than that in order to thrive as a human being. I need to be a part of a community and have the support that only friends and family can give. To have this, I have to spend time around people. Even when I don't want to. Even when I'd rather stay home and look for a new show to binge-watch on Netflix.

Being around people is kind of like eating vegetables. Sometimes it's pleasurable. Sometimes it's not. Actually, my first instinct is usually to shy away from social situations. I remember getting invited to go out to the movies or the mall or the whatever by friends when I was in high school and I would beg my mom to say I wasn't allowed to go so that I could have an excuse to stay home. Sometimes she would give in to my entreaty, but more often than not she would advise me that it was in my best interests to say yes to the invitation because if I said no too many times, eventually the invitations would stop coming. I still go through this as an adult. Sometimes a group of women I know from the gym will ask if I want to go out to lunch after class and I almost always decline because I'm afraid that being in that situation with a group of people I know only casually will quickly turn awkward. And awkward social situations are scary.

Putting myself out there in that way is not something that comes naturally to me, but it is absolutely vital to my psychological and spiritual health.

The thing is, we all need a community. We all need a circle of loved ones we can count on when times get tough. But in order to have those relationships, we have to work to build them. Even when we don't feel like it. Because you don't get to be a part of a community by just existing close to it. You don't form bonds with people by sitting ten feet away from them and never making eye contact. You can only make those connections when you reach out. When you make the effort. When you force yourself to be a bit more social than your natural inclination would typically allow.

I know probably half of the people reading this will not identify with this post. I think it's one of those challenges unique to us introverts. The point is that sometimes what we really need is something that goes against our natural inclinations. But we have to fight the instinct to back away if we really want to grow into more mature, more complete individuals.